I am going through a funny period of my life. Finishing my exams was no big thing for me as I took two exams at the end of the semester and then decided not to take the third (in Regensburg, you can get up to two passes from courses just for homework). So there was no huge relief, more like anxiety whether I am going to take the last exam after all or whether the professor will agree to my not taking it… Even my last three visits to Germany were problematic and extremely stressful so I was really glad I did not have to go for the last exam. There are still a couple of things that I should wrap up in Germany but those things can wait easily. So I never got any feeling of closure or anything. But it is behind me. It really is.
In the end, I am happy it is all over and I can finally move on, but I am disappointed with many things and I must say that the advice that I should grit my teeth and it will be over soon is among the worst things I could have been told. It did not work and it was not worth it. On one hand, I do look forward to doing some maths again but all my motivation has been ruined during this year, all my willpower and wishful thinking are simply gone and I no longer possess anything resembling studying habits and overall I think I have forgotten more than learned in many aspects this year.
Well, hopefully not all the damage will be irreparable and I will still recover, though I simply feel exhausted when it comes to maths and life and studying now. Well, some mistakes in life are very costly. But the things are beginning to turn. I got a nice opportunity to come back home and help with generating random numbers, so that would be a bit of statistics for me, but home is home. But if feels great to be able to come back home.
Having passed my driving exams yesterday, I am celebrating and enjoying my three days of holidays with due bureaucracy and packing arranging things and getting rid of the immense backlog I have accumulated over the past few months. My life is finally going to slow down a bit in Holland and by the end of September or beginning of October, I should be focusing on studying only. And then I will hopefully finish all the drafts of posts for my blog as well :) All the maths I owe you!
The year was exhaustive for me. I feel completely drained now. But a new beginning in a different place with different math is waiting for me not so far ahead. So thank you for all your support during this year. Let’s hope it will not be needed that much next year.
